As I wander along the beach as I often do, I will sometimes see a beleaguered dad sitting in his beach chair with a toddler at his side begging him to come play - build a sand castle, play in the surf, throw a ball, come on daddy, come on daddy, come on daddy, play with me........
But daddy just wants to sit and relax. I have walked many miles along many beaches and seen this same story play out many times.
I wonder if daddy realizes there will come a day when he would give or do anything to have those moments back and to be able to make the choice to play instead of sitting in his chair - to build a memory of involvement and participation.
The youthful years of our children are so fleeting but we don't always note that fact while it is happening. It's only with hindsight that we realize it's gone and will never return.
Dad's behavior is not through neglect nor mean spirit but dad is tired from the work week and just wants to sit and rest a bit. The kid on the other hand, is raring to go.
Maybe that's one of the reasons why grandparents are often so sweet and doting - trying to make up for their own behavior when they were parents.
I want to walk over and tell daddy all this and help him see the future but, I know my advice won't be received well. Twenty years ago when I was sitting in that chair, I wouldn't have received that advice well either.
White Horse Beach at low tide. (Panorama - click to view full width).
Love that beach and hope one day my kids get to visit. Hope more dads will pick up and play with their kids and gradkids after readings.
ReplyDeleteHere is a little tidbit from the most wonderful humorist Erma Bombeck: Erma Bombeck
“If I had my life to live over...
Someone asked me the other day if I had my life to live over would I change anything.
My answer was no, but then I thought about it and changed my mind.
If I had my life to live over again I would have waxed less and listened more.
Instead of wishing away nine months of pregnancy and complaining about the shadow over my feet, I'd have cherished every minute of it and realized that the wonderment growing inside me was to be my only chance in life to assist God in a miracle.
I would never have insisted the car windows be rolled up on a summer day because my hair had just been teased and sprayed.
I would have invited friends over to dinner even if the carpet was stained and the sofa faded.
I would have eaten popcorn in the "good" living room and worried less about the dirt when you lit the fireplace.
I would have taken the time to listen to my grandfather ramble about his youth.
I would have burnt the pink candle that was sculptured like a rose before it melted while being stored.
I would have sat cross-legged on the lawn with my children and never worried about grass stains.
I would have cried and laughed less while watching television ... and more while watching real life.
I would have shared more of the responsibility carried by my husband which I took for granted.
I would have eaten less cottage cheese and more ice cream.
I would have gone to bed when I was sick, instead of pretending the Earth would go into a holding pattern if I weren't there for a day.
I would never have bought ANYTHING just because it was practical/wouldn't show soil/ guaranteed to last a lifetime.
When my child kissed me impetuously, I would never have said, "Later. Now, go get washed up for dinner."
There would have been more I love yous ... more I'm sorrys ... more I'm listenings ... but mostly, given another shot at life, I would seize every minute of it ... look at it and really see it ... try it on ... live it ... exhaust it ... and never give that minute back until there was nothing left of it.”
Blessings for a new year with family. Beany B
Thanks for the comment! I, too, enjoyed Ms. Bombeck's writings.
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